i'm feeling sad...
Sigh. We lost again today. Agst National Youth team. We drew during the actual game and had penalty shoot-out. Well, I missed both my penalty shots :( I don't know why I didn't felt that sad just now after the game. But now here I am, sobbing away alone in my room. I closed my door so that my bro will not see me in this state. Sigh. And I really wonder why am I so shitty. What's the point of training so hard when I can't perform in the actual game?! I really suck. Then some of those polo guys named me '50 cents' and I bet it meant nothing good. And they commented that I'm lousy too. Sigh. I'm always affected by what others say about me. When will I learn not to take things too personally?
I prayed about my penalty shots just now, and I admit that it was wrong of me to blame it on Him for not helping me. I was really sad and disappointed with myself. And I can't stop crying. I think probably cause I feel really useless in the team . I can't attack for nuts!!! Why am I even playing in the first team in the first place? It seems like the Lord wants me to learn something from this, but I don't know what that is. Learn to be stronger? Learn to be more confident? Train harder? I don't know. I keep playing this song over and over again. Somehow, it does help to comfort me a little
In Christ Alone - Brian Littrell
In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I'll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand
Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord
