thinking about...

i am suddenly sooo INTO korean drams and movies.... sooo lovey dovey..... yet touching at the same time....esp with quan2 xiang4 yu3 in it... wahaha.... but everytime after watching...i will get very emotional and start to think alot.... thinking where's he when i needed him... he was not there when i needed him when we were still together... not to mention now... he hates mi.. he dun even wanna be frens... everytime i go back to the north.. i will definitely pass by braddell.... den all mi memories with him will rush into mi mind.. i feel helpless... it is an involuntary action...

no one understands how it feels.... cos everyone out there thinks tt it's so easy to just forget someone like tt...esp when they think it's like so long (abt 1 mth) ago liao... PLEASE!!! 1 mth??!!?!!!!!? i am not as heartless as u ppl out there are..... or sld i be putting it this way... i am very sentimental??!! at least...much more sentimental than many of u ppl out there.... so stop giving mi tt irritated tone tt i sld haf already long forgotten bout him....this is the main reason y i stopped telling u ppl out there abt miself... i orginally dun like to tell ppl mi stuff.... i may be loud... but ask urselves... how much do u all know about me?!! pls... u ppl know nuts.... and now i am just revealing some of mi inner thots to u guys...... n yet u ppl out there just give mi this kinda shit attitude...

i will nv trust anyone out there anymore... not anymore.. u ppl out there all just sux downrite to the core.... i thot i had opened up alot already as compared to mi previous self... but now i've realised.... tt actually... keeping mi individualistic mindset it still the best way out for me.....

i realli heck liao....

sigh....prelims is like a total piece of shit... if i can just like.... get 1A 2AO it's called a super big big miracle liao lor... sianz... i dread gg to sch cos i haf to see those shit papers with big red crosses and zeros all over the page.... diam it totally.... a's are like in one mths time?! and i feel so unprepared.... or at least... i guess i am not willing to put in the effort ba.....

alot of shit has been gg on and i just dunno wat to do.... been cleaning mi house everytime i feel shitty and i just wanna get away from it.... it's like running away..but wat can i do?! face it and CRY???!!! mi tears are already soooo worthless tt even i miself dun even wanna see them anymore... :<

max sent this forwarded mail about God's love to us... at the end of the msg... it said i was supposed to send it to someone and not keep it.... so the first person who came into mi mind was him.... i clicked on 'forward' and typed in his email add..... and i felt a sudden rush to just ask him at the back of the mail... 'wat on earth did i do to deserve this from u... u like it alot with ppl blocking u on their msn...ignoring u here and there issit?! haf u ever spared a thot for mi feelings?'

sigh...but in the end...i backed out... i din wan to.... or i sld say.. i din dare to... oh well.... yeah... now i am like soooo no mood to do anything... shit stuff just jie3 zhong3 er2 lai2.... i realli heck liao... -_-

the terminal

watched the terminal with wan ah choo and shiqi today after chem mcq.... ahhaha...it was a reali good good show... it's basically abt this guy whose country got into some internal politcal affairs while he was on flight.... den when he landed... his visa and passport were not recognised by the united states due to the political unstability in his country... so he had to stay in the airport for the time being..... of cos...finally he managed to go back home... but the realli touching part was tt he went to new york city to fulfil his dad wish.... to get this autograph from this guy who's jazz band consists of 57 ppl.... the guy's dad already had 56 before he passed away....so this filial guy decided to fulfil his dad's death wish... :> so goot... den of cos..there is the romantic part of the story too.... whereby he met this super pretty air stewardess and both of them fell for each other...but the air stewardess knew they cldn't be together cos the guy was a realli devoted guy who believes in true love kinda??!! and the gal was sorta one of a flirtatious kind...... sigh.... you3 qing2 ren2 bu4 nen2 zhong1 cheng2 juan4 shu3.... so sad.... :<>

DOES TRUE LOVE EXIST?!

sigh...i am thinking bout him...yes...again... :<>

tmr i will be gg morning trg...den go ntu with yifern to meet jingyi and check out some courses there...den gg afternoon trg...after tt meeting ming for evening movie b4 heading for home.... goot.... packed day...hope i dun haf time to think about him.... i realli hope so....

da ge & marcus chow: it's all in the mind.....

da ge said this to mi thru some sms i think...marcus said this to mi b4 our phy ppr 5.... oh well.... so i guess i gotta be more sensible and matured to get miself out of this abyss... :<

terrible terrible....-_-'''

ARGH!!!! I HATE DOGS!!!!!! diam it totally.... guess wat sia....on sat evening... after watching yifern swim for her ivp the whole day... i went to meet ming at orchard to haf dinner b4 gg to her house... den we saw bryan chan at heeren after dinner and so he gave us a lift to outside his house there.... den mi and ming decided to walk to her house from there.... den freaking shiatz... we were passing by this long stretch of road when suddenly this mad dog came dashing out at us from some side alley and started barking at us like mad... it was like realli tt kinda horrible disgusting fierce dog.... ready to pounce on us tt kind??!! it must haf thot tt we were trespassing or smt and decided to come attack us.... freak... mi and ming were like so scared-ed lor!!! we dashed to the road side where many cars were zooming by us..... hoping that the dog wun come chasing us..... we were like realli panicking??!! wondering whether to run or just stay there with our white faces..... so in the end we just stood there and thank God..... the dog ran back into the alley.... after that....we hurriedly walk and ran as quickly as we cld and till we were like about 300m away from tt side alley..... i turned back and to mi greatest horror.... i saw that mad dog chasing us AGAIN from behind!!!! freak!!!!! i almost wanted to faint & when i told ming tt the dog was still chasing us... we burst into a mad run....screaming at the same time and ran into the middle of the road to flag down a taxi.....sadly..... no taxi wanted to stop for us and we just kept running IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD till we finally saw the dog run back into the alley and tt was when we got a taxi too.... diam it totally..... i hate dogs.... argh...whenever i see them...they just love barking at mi.... freak it..... sianz... after tt stayed over at ming's house and mug... den next morning went to haf lunch with her family and den bought her bro a belated birthday present... wahhhhh..... yup....

sigh.... actually i feel quite sad now...... ytd i was toking to ray online... den he told mi that it's natural that he din wanna patch... cos he leaving for aus next yr liao and he din wan mi to wait for him.... den ray also told mi that mi and him break hor... is just a matter of time... cos he's realli quiet and it's realli hard to communicate with him...... moreover we always quarrel.... sigh.... well done lor... fortunately da ge was online and so i just lashed out everything at him... wahhhha.. oops...thanks da ge for being there.... :> but still... i felt so hurt... sigh.... it's like 12.50 now? and phy paper 5 is starting at 2pm...sianz... think i go canteen search for some food first b4 mugging.... wahhhhhahahaah.... :>

YIPPEE!!!

wahhaha....just finished phy paper 3?!??! and i am now in the com lab checking mi stuff... eheh.... end of terrorism.... now's left with design ex and chem mcq!! yeah!! hahaha...i seriously hope i can hit the 1A 2AO requirement lor... sianz.... ahhaha...after thurs... i am free from prelims!! though a's are still coming up...but who cares lah.. i need a great great break from all these shiatz... ahhahaa..... hmm.....but poor da ge still has his 2 S papers...well....serve him rite though for being so smart!!wahahah... bleah.... I HATE SMART ASS-ES!!! wahahaa...

hmm...next sat will be mi and ming's party!! awhhhha... all those invited must come lor....... we invited like quite a few polo ppl and we are all gg to stay overnite at mi amk house and play mahjong and polka cards....whaahaha.... i hope bryan can get the $150 strawberry shortcake from his mom's restaurant though.. i miss those strawberries!! wahahaha.... yummy....but b4 tt...i am get san chin and evan to come help mi clean up mi house first... i haf a feeling it's so dirty till like dunno wat.... haven been in there for quite some time liao lor.... wonder wat's the condition there now.... wahhahahh.....

sigh....i feel sooo freaking fat!! diam it...wonder how i am gg to move in the pool sia.... on thurs after mi chem mcq.. i am gg to go swimming trg!! eheehee... and swim swim swim non-stop man.... decided.... lose all those bah that i haf gain over the month... come to think about it... it's been like 1 whole mth since i swam??!! gosh... and i hope to get into ntu thru swimming (cos mi grades confirm cannot make it) next yr... haaahaa..... mr yam (teacher-in-charge of ntu) gave mi the ntu track top last sat during this yr's ivp!! whahhaaha... it's so cool sia...and i seriously wanna stay in hostel and room with jingyi man... hahahaha..so shiok... though i haf this yu4 gan3 that we wun be able to mug with each other ard... but oh well.. .haahahha.. who cares!!!

hmm...come to think about it....i hope to do smt sports related.... maybe smt like attaching miself to triathlon association?! hope they can give mi priority since i was an intern with them b4??!! still rem last yr...i was like promoting membership for them!! awhahha....though tiring...but felt such a great sense of achievement when i earned so much for them thru mi membership promoting...heheheehehe...or maybe as a pe teacher?!?!! gosh... but i can't stand miself gg back to sch again!! no way man!

sigh... alright....back to mugging though...later in the evening still got coaching man... sianz!!! argh.... i hate coaching.... so troublesome like tt... sigh.... guess i am not good at coaching ppl.... or at least... i dun haf the passion for teaching... i think it's just better that i do smt individual... ahahahaha.... 2 more days to freedom!! YEAH!! :>

SOS...jiu4 ming4 ah.... help help help....

diam it totally.. just finished maths ppr 2 and i am now in the com lab again... sigh...the stiupiadz (stupid) com at home is soooo damn screwed up lor.... freak freak freak.... wat's the meaning of this man... can't even type mi blog.. sob sob.... oh well... toking bout maths ppr 2... today's stats was like put lor... diam it totally.... question 26 and 28 were like literally blank!?!?!?!?? and i cld actually integrate wrongly till i realised that stiupiadz careless mistake like 15 mins b4 the end of the ppr? luckily i changed it in time.. but still..diam it lor..... so totally careless....

sigh... somehow or another... i thot i had forgotten him... but den ah...while i was doing tt maths ppr just now... i suddenly thot of him leh..... freak.... den ah.... it occurred to mi tt since he has already deleted all mi testimonials for him on friendster and blocked mi on his msn... y sld i still give a shit about him?!?! he's nothing more than a childish brat and i feel so silly to get upset over him (though tt's something tt i used to always do).... i bet he threw away all the letters and mi diary i had given him on the day we broke off liao..... sigh... y can't he just appreciate certain things tt i do?! i wun say i am totally goot or wat... tt will definitely be a Z cal that lies in critical region and i will reject tt hypothesis immdiately.... but still.... i feel so upset tt he took mi for granted and treated mi soooo shiaty-ly....sigh... alright....watever....

glenn says he needs to go buy some present thing... shall go with him and jie3 jie3 men4..... :> heheh.... ah san is like always too engrossed with doraemon and totally has no time for mi and chin chin... sigh... chin chin ah.... now that u so free must bake for mi blueberry cheesecake k??!! heeheh.... i love the one u baked mi last yr for mi bdae.... and qian2 qian2 hou4 hou4 in the 2 yrs tt i've known u... u've already baked mi 3 cakes liao!! wahhha... u reali too nice to mi already... quite touched when i recall all these small (but not exactly small) things tt u do for mi... mi mom was like....

'WAH..... UR FREN BAKE U SOOOO NICE CAKES DEN U NV SAVE SOME FOR MI TO EAT AH??!!'

wahhaha... oh well... ask her fly back from hk to eat ba... hehehe.... oh...and i wld wanna thank da ge for his prayers last nitez (hmm...actually can call it this morning also lah).... whahhha... i somehow miraculously remember some of mi stats stuff today.... wahaah... i did stats first... and so surprisingly i actually know some shit bout differential equations today.... da bai hor is black one lor... den today dunno how come manage to prove those 2 bang saiz..... goot.....

wahhaa....ytd was supposed to be mugging and dieting... but den i ended up chatting with yifern on the phone for like an hour plus plus and drinking soup and eating bread thruout the conversation... gosh... FAT BLOB LIAO.....diam it.... ahahhhaaa.... den help joseph did his phy promos ppr last yr.... freak... it's like sorta easy?! alright.. shan be a biatch...but i solved them like quite fast..... like 30 mins plus? WAHAHAHA...... first time i can do phy questions w/o getting stuck at them for like 15mins??!! afer tt den i started to chiong maths.... sigh......

gotta mug hard for chem mcq and phy ppr 3 next week.... i dun wish to haf another FFF for prelims.... :<

PRELIM'S SOOOO SCREWED!

now in com lab.....sigh... just had chem paper 3.... best thing is that mi and san onli know tt paper 3 is everything including food chem onli ytd after phy.... we thot it's just food chem onli lor... perfoot(perfect) liao.. diam it... sianz... so as usual of cos... i screwed up today's chem ppr 3.... 10 essay questions... organic and food chem is called go and die one.... sianz... so let's just say 40/100 is gone for sure... and given mi kinda F standard.... i think if i can get like about 15/60 (which means 15/100) for the rest of the paper is considered realli not bad for mi liao... diam it...

oh well... computer's spoilt... freak.... den joseph and jing xian wanna come tj next yr... joseph is mi bro.... by hook or by crook i must get him in... even if i haf to make deals with the principal (just like wat i had bargained for in prelims...wahahaah)....as for jing xian... he will glorify mi swim team... so i gotta get him in no matter wat too.... hmm....and i realli think i too rough liao... diam it... was just cleaning mi bro's (joseph) specs for him this morning when i realised i had actually rubbed off one of the nose grips... wahhaahhaahh.... siao liao... freak... alright... shall get him a new pair of specs when i get mi pay from desmond...

talking bout desmond... we haven met for damn long liao... but nvm... the longer we dun meet... the more he gotta pay mi when he meets mi... wahhha.. goot.... perfoot....now's prelims and i dun even feel like gg coaching... but oh well.... wat to do.... freak.... sat i think i go look for yifern pass her the adapter ba.... den shun4 bian4 go bishan there to get a new pair of specs 4 mi bro den shun4 bian4 go collect letters from my amk house....

oh ya... mi mom says that next year after i graduate... she's gonna sell away bedok and amk house and get a smaller apartment for mi and mi bro... cos she dad and johnny already migrated back to hk liao... so left mi and joseph... but joseph is going back after his ns... so i will be all alone here... so dun need big apartments... so maybe 1 or 2 room flat will be good... ahhaha.. i like...cosy and warm!! ehehehhehe.....den mom's gonna get mi a car so tt i can travel ard more conveniently next time.... shiok... but well..if joseph gets into tj (though tt's not reali likely cos he's in srjc for yr1).... den maybe still stay in bedok ba... or else.... MOVE HOUSE!! yeah!!! den can clear away much rubbish and haf a real clean nice neat house.... hate it when things get messy... wahaahha.....

sigh... i sometimes realli wonder when i can fully get out of this shit lor.... it's been a mth liao yet i still dwell into it?! wat's wrong with me!? freak... i hate it when i cry or feel sad... does he even give a shit bout mi now?! NO!!!! so y do memories still linger in mi mind!? i can't even focus properly on mi studies... sianz... shiatz...argh... who cares lah....

psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

i shall leave mi fate to Him and i realli hope He can bring mi out of this soon.... think bout happy stuff now... hmm.... mi and ming gonna organise this bbq at mi amk house after prelims!! gonna take a big big break off man... wahahhha... den chiong a's after tt.... san chin and evan confirm invited.... bryan ada owen gerald sw damian also confirm invited... den *ahem* they all also invited... wahahhahaha.... goot.... den gonna all play mahjong and cards whole nite long!! wahhaaa... but mi house so freaking small...i wonder if can accomodate so many ppl or not... freak....aiyah.... who cares lah.... small warm and cosy!! ehehehehhe... alright... think i shall just shuddup and go home now to mug maths for tmr.... sianz..... maths.... :<

hungry 'giraffe' festival

now's like the hungry 'giraffe' festival and everywhere's having tt stage performances kinda... so freaky and scary... sigh... i realli damn scared of these kinda 'giraffe' stuff lor.... hai... mi computer's like spoilt and i can't type mi blog at home...can't delete mails etc etc... just totally screwed... sigh... wonder wat's wrong with mi??!! diam it... everything also so bu4 shun4 xin1 one.... :<

oh well...now at ming's house...gonna mug overnite with her.... brought phy to mug....got phy paper 1 and 2 on monday... feel so freaking dead lor.... dun even think i can like pass it?! freak.... haven been thinking bout shiatz stuff lately.... though on monday nitez i think i was crying like mad... cos memories just rushed back and i cldn't take it.... sigh... wish i can get over it realli soon man...

oh...last sat...i left mi phone at amk house....so after i went san's church.... i decided to go back to amk at 12 plus (midnite) to gt back mi phone... wahahha... den da ge decided to go with mi so i took a taxi from bedok and went to da ge's house to pick him den went to mi amk house... reached there at bout 1am...got mi phone liao den i decided mi house is too dirty like mad.... so mi and da ge started cleaning up mi house at 1am.... (mad liao) whahahhaa..... yeah.... den while he was being mi 'maria' (maid)....i started playing mi piano.... wahahha.. just when i started to play 'fur elise'.... da ge suddenly stopped vacuuming and said to mi... 'eh...later ur neighbours think ur house haunted'.... FREAK lor.... i am like damn freaking scared of those kinda stuff one lor... den anyhow come and bullshit.... freak... den after tt we left mi house and walked practically from yio chu kang mrt station (mi amk house) to novena mrt station (da ge's house).... wahahaha... den stayed over at his house as i was practically dying anyway.... and da ge had nowhere to go but the living room (cos i took his room)...wahahaha... oops... solleh da ge... ehehehe... oh well.... den next morning went expo with chin chin to the giant and popular sale... wahahaha...toked so much rubbish... ehhehe....

sigh..... i wonder when mi com can be alright!!! freak.... feel so tired now but i know i gotta mug mi phy... can't disappoint ms wong rite?! sigh.... off to bathe den mug liao...sianz... :<

THE WORLD IS ENDING !!!!!!!!!!

The world is coming to an end... Jacchow's comp isn't listening to her .... hiakz... that's the end.... she can't blog......

Please be patient with her comp.....

Jacchow..we're waiting !!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________________________

My little testimonal for u

Jac> You're the most lovable friend one can ever have.... So thoughtful & caring towards everyone...

Known u for so long ...But got closer only in recent years... It's a pity that some humans don't really treasure your presence ....Hiakz .that's juz because others dun appreciate what's distinct in u. For GOD created individuals to be unique, I do hope you'll find someone who truly appreciates & care for u.

In the words of Len Wein : A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.

Thanks for being one.

-yifern-

BEST SEXUAL SKILL?!?! goot...

ch-ch-ch-ch CHECK IT OUT!! - http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=2123

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?

Name - chow chung shan jacquline
Age - 18
Sex - female
Sexuality - straight

Flirting Skill Level - 85%
Kissing Skill Level - 59%
Cudding Skill Level - 1%
Sex Skill Level - 97%
Why They Love You = You can do amazing things with your tongue.
Why They Hate You = You are too sexy.

freak....found this on frenster bulletin... and i was trying so hard to copy the html onto here...but obviously... i failed terribly... whhahhaa... wat's cudding by the way?! goot... anyway... had 1 to 1 chem remedial with ms wong ws this morning... hhahaa... goot.. den khong guan biscuit kept msging and the phone went buzzing (silent mode) ard and i was soooo LK.... diam it... well...suay suay he is younger than me...and wat made is worse is tt he's 15! freak.... i haven fully gotten over that shiatz and i seriously condemn guys who are younger than mi(esp those born in 1989) or from sa... suay suay he fall under one of the main category... so BLEAH(saliva spitting all over)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hmm...den saw pom pom yiming lisa ratt in sch.... pom pom skirt sooo short lah.. dunno who she wanna attract also...freak.... ahahahaha.... better set off to slp now sia.. den wake up later to mug... sigh.. diam it..

RoNaLd SuSiLo!!!!!

freak freak.....shuai4 ge1 ronald susilo and chiobu li jia wei gonna get married liao... freak... sooooooo envious of this couple.... lang2 cai2 nu3 mao4.....jian3 zhi2 jiu4 shi4 tian1 sheng1 yi1 dui4 long2 feng4 pei4 lor!!!! sooooooooooooooooooo envious... goot...... ah!!!!!!!!! i also wanna get married!!! den be tai tai no need work.... get away from shit stuff like PRELIMS and A LEVELS!!! diam it.... tmr's phy prac and i dun even know the venue and the time... freak freak...

ytd stayed over at ming's house to mug!! wahahhhhaa... den we spotted so many of the sajc shuai ppl with the help of mingrui (ming's bro)..... diam it!!! sa got quite a few not bad one lor (in mingrui's class...whahahha).....wat bout tj!??!?!?!?! freak......totally pathetic..... well..den mug phy prac till 4am b4 we went to slp.... den morning wake up went for facial at ming's mom's salon.... freak... those beauty consultants keep saying mi and ming's skin like put..... cos we keep swimming and tanning ourselves den say we nv bao3 yang3 properly.......diam it.... nvm.... ming ming!! we gonna carry out our 'perfection plan' after our major exams k??!! ehehehhehehe... :> sigh...off to mug liao...sianz....