lost.....

lost... due to the limited amt of gp knowlege i haf... i guess lost has onli 2 meanings to me? one is lost... literally lost... in a sense u dunno where u are and u are like crying for ur parents!! (tt's wat i always do when i was young... crying for them when they are like just at the next lane of the supermarket..) well.. the other meaning... is wat i am feeling now... totally wandering ard aimlessly.... i feel totally outcasted by the world...... lost all mi morale... (though i dun realli haf much in the first place) sigh...

today's national day? well... at morning 1am i was still tearing like nobody's business?! sigh... 29th apr - wonderful day(mi birthday somemore)...... 7th aug- lost day..... totally lost..... i feel like i am just an empty shell.... soul-less..... and i realli dunno wat to do.... all i can say is thanks sandra.... i love u.... thanks for all ur prayers.... i guess god realli heard u?! hahahahaha... i fell asleep like soon after i msg u.... :>

today went filming at tp.... so sad...it's the last day already.... and i took pic with all the female actresses today... :> heheheehe.... well...cldn't help but think bout it.... (THE FILMING WAS AT TOA PAYOH LOR...) sigh.... anyway... it's going to be the last time i am ever going to step into it.....at least till after a levels? well.... tt's if i ever wanna continue playing polo after a's... cos i am realli sick of all those political shit there..... mi wan shu gonna form our new team... we will take part in open league and beat everyone up!! whahahahaha.... oops.... trg will be at csc!!! shu better bring us in man... den we 3 jipoh aunties can go enjoy all the facilities there... :> heheeheh....

sigh... gonna mug overnite at the airport tonite with wan and shu... i realli gotta chiong... mi grades are realli like bang sai can?! help... SANDRA!! help ah!! i feel so dead man... and i dunno wat tests there are this week?! gosh... first time i am like panicking for any tests..... argh!!! feel so dumb....(esp when ah san is mi good good fren...) freak!!! aahhaahaa.....dun like ah san....everytime so smart... nv study also thrash mi in every test.... bleah!!!! kk...guess i gotta stuff miself with food and notes and forget bout all that shit that's happened to me! i realli gotta get out of mi 'sec 2' mentality and move on to a new 'jc 2' mindset.... thanks emily for ur msg on ur blog... hahahaha... so glad that sooooooo many ppl love mi out there... wahahahaha.... oh well... ah san... must continue to pray for mi k... i realli need u.... and i seriously think someday... i sld go to a church or smt... wat st nicks taught mi (as in how to pray) seems so different from wat u all teach mi.... ahhaahha...oops ..... well... after a's is a real good time i guess....

kk...i sld stop all mi biatching and get mi ass off to the airport now and mug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh... still that 2 words... LOVE SUX.... -huijia-

heheehehe....